5 Kids Shows I'd Tolerate As Feature Films

They turned Transformers into a movie franchise; they turned Land of the Lost into a movie; they're turning Thundercats, Where's Waldo? and Stretch Armstrong into movies. Clearly, these things are just going to keep happening. Every single thing you remember from a past decade will be announced as a movie sooner or later. Slap wraps will be a movie. Girl Talk: The Next Zit Sticker will be a movie. Crystal Pepsi will be a movie. And you know what? I surrender! We might as well start preemptively embracing these things and hoping for the best before they're announced -- it lessens the blow that way. Here are five kid's shows you liked when you were younger that will inevitably be adapted into live action films, as well as some casting suggestions that we can hopefully all live with.

Hey Dude
Think about it: A slapstick Western starring Shia LaBeouf as Ted, Alison Lohman as Melody, Brittany Snow as rich bitch Brad(just dye her hair), Taylor Lautner as Indian Danny Lightfoot, Jay Baruchel as geeky Jake and HRG as Mr. Ernst. Just please keep Miley Cyrus away from it, and you've got my 10 bucks, Hollywood.

Are You Afraid of The Dark
I know, this wasn't a show with a cohesive storyline. But here's my take. We up the creep/adult factor just a little. The five or six characters get together every week to tell their ghost tales. However, this time, we realize all the characters are telling fantasized versions of what realistically happened as tragedies in their own lives, with a small coincidental tie to eachother, that none of them even realize. Like art therapy. This way, we aren't just getting random ghost stories. We are getting a cohesive story. The film can star like a shitload of people, because you'd be casting for each story. Each one will be about 25 minutes, thus creating a film full of stars.

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?
It's actually always surprised me that no one has talked Angelina Jolie into being Carmen Sandiego for a paycheck yet. Love her or hate her, girl can work a trench. The movie will probably be some sort of cross with Spy Kids, where perhaps a family of geographically knowledgeable bounty hunters track her across the world after she steals like the Sphinx or Eiffel Tower or something. Actually, they may want to reduce the scale of her thievery to art or jewels for a more believable movie. Just a suggestion.

The Magic Schoolbus
The potential for a CG eyegasm here is tremendous, and we finally have the technology! Yay, the future is now! Jane Lynch will play Ms. Frizzle (previously voiced by Lily Tomlin in the cartoon series), Abigail Breslin will play bookworm Dorothy Ann, Jamie from One Tree Hill will play the field trip-hating Arnold and Wanda Sykes will voice the class pet lizard Liz.

Salute Your Shorts
I mean come on. The material is already there. A coming of age story about teenagers at a summer camp. Cast the same people listed for Hey Dude. Use similar stories from the series. Include all things awful waffle, capture the flag, Budnick, zeke the plumber. This shit would be golden if done right.