Why I Hate CSI, Law and Order and NCIS

The ridiculously popular NCIS has officially spun off into SoCal, with, really, a brilliantly awful cast. (Yes, I allow myself to use the phrase "brilliantly awful" and find is completely acceptable.) LL Cool J and Chris O'Donnell are buddy cops who investigate crimes committed against military personnel, and the principal from Kindergarten Cop is their boss. That sentence alone should send any person with a decent gage of what makes a quality program running for Six Feet Under or Mad Men. I, unlike most people apparently, cannot stand formulaic stand-alone series such as this, Law and Order and CSI, and generally think it's not fun to watch self important people running around doing important things. But whatever, I watch the Real World/Road Rules Challenge, so you don't really need to listen to me.

The thing I don't get about these shows and its predecessors is...what is supposed to be appealing about the writing, other than the fact that it's very easy to grasp, particularly while not paying very close attention to the show. I thought the same thing while watching NCIS: Los Angeles the other night that I always do whenever I'm forced into the mediocrity that is Law and Order -- "This is fine, but predictable and formulaic and I should really be devoting my precious TV watching time to something better -- or something overtly awful, like The Hills." 

CSI, Law and Order and NCIS are not categorically bad shows by any means, but it's the mediocrity of them that just isn't exciting. I get the appeal of a show that you can just leave on and absent-mindedly watch, I suppose, and God knows I understand the appeal of LL Cool J, if you like tools. It's just that you can't expect me to get excited about anything that happened in last night's Los Angeles premiere. Of course the dead officer was just trying to protect his niece, of course the mother of the girl was hiding something, of course her weird dad was the one who kidnapped her, etc, etc. You people are solving a crime, here. On television. There's supposed to be some mystery, or you're just doing it wrong, and anyone who's ever watched any TV whatsoever in their lives before saw every one of these plot developments coming a mile away.

But the thing is...this is how it feels to watch literally EVERY.SINGLE.EPISODE of these type of shows. Like, how can one be entertained by the thought of repeating the same story line every single week? But just replacing the actors who play the "good guy" the "bad guy" the "victim" and the "accomplice. Its the SAME THING every single week. Blah. This stuff is just blah. I mean, I have no problem with people watching them. I just don't understand why anyone would choose to watch them over an actual really good show that has some character development and actual cohesive story. Oh well, I'll just stay baffled by their 18 plus million viewers each week. 

CSI, Law and Order and NCIS all get D's in my book.